If Hamlet were an ebook author he would say

05 Aug


To promote or not  promote, that is the question

 Whether tis nobler in the mind to pray

Someone downloads your book

Or take arms and persuade readers to explore

And by nagging begin? To believe that your words

Could launch a thousand clicks, ten thousand, virality,

Oh Bieber, Bieber you innocent project of Luck,

The Gods they change, from aeon to aeon,

Here you are despicable writer, on your knees,

Supplicating minion of the Word

Can you bear the unkindness of unknown readers,

the negligence of fingers that do not click,

the ignorance of credit card holders, the gateways

that grate the fingernails of anxious writer, anxious you,

when can you leave all this behind? The hours and hours

of surfing, the liking and unliking,

the fawning and cajoling, the spider’s web in you expanding

into a dream, your dreams now a network of jpgs. Soft now!

A reader comes, be on your best behaviour, smile, say cheese,

fall on your knees, say ‘Read’!

(I apologize to all my English Professors for this desecration of Hamlet’s unparalleled speech!)


neelthemuse@ 2013

Check out my book Unsettled @ the Indireads Book Store:












Posted by on August 5, 2013 in Dark fantasy, humour, Paranormal Romance


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6 responses to “If Hamlet were an ebook author he would say

  1. Mimmy Jain

    August 5, 2013 at 10:59 am

    This is lovely. Shakespeare would forgive you in a flash!


  2. neelthemuse

    August 6, 2013 at 9:04 am

    Mimmy that is the kindest thing I’ve heard…thank you!


  3. Prerna

    August 7, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    You may be interested in reading this- If Shakespeare had written Star Wars:


  4. neelthemuse

    August 8, 2013 at 6:40 am

    Now that is really interesting Prerna…thank you!


  5. pamela

    August 10, 2013 at 4:33 am

    I feel your pain. I guess the problem is the fine line between, does the writing speak for itself. Is the constant bombarding of advertisement and self promotion what is necessary to make that writing be seen? Either way its supposed to make a fine author … or so says the world…. go figure


  6. neelthemuse

    August 10, 2013 at 6:31 am

    Absolutely Pam…it is a go-figure situation. Loved the angst in that speech and wanted to replicate it!



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